Nothing ventured

So I am beginning again and not ashamed. Not afraid either.  Even if all I end up saying here are these few lines, I’ve moved forward, I’ve taken a giant step. I am not where I used to be and I find that much rewarding and fulfilling than the immobilizing thought of what would happen if I ventured at all. I know better now.
Someone said: ‘If you climb to the top of the boulder that blocks your way, you will enjoy the view from a different perspective.

Enjoying this new perspective. 

What’s stopping you from taking that step? The only one stopping you is you. Don’t procrastinate. Don’t make excuses. Don’t give leadership to your fears or the inevitable criticisms of others. Launch out from your comfort zone. You will be better for it.

#Winking2Myself

For The In-Between Place

Poof! It’s all gone with the wind, my attempt at uncovering the art I am made to live. No, you cannot possibly imagine my anger and frustration at losing a full-page draft I had just finished editing just when I was about hitting the save button. Alas! All I have left is this one liner from the draft:

“He, God will carry me, bear me up in His arms. Like a father carries his son, so He will carry me in and through this in-between place”.

I was neck-deep in debt and had been writing about that being my in-between place where I believed God was upholding me. Have you experienced the joy of receiving a salary alert short-lived by the thought of each i-owe-you competing to be settled first; the embarrassing demand notices; how we respond to them differently – some getting angry and bitter, others worried and perplexed and yet a few, too few look ahead and beyond themselves and their circumstances for the way forward and out and how I wanted to remain one of these few irrespective of the situation I find myself.

The one-liner was good enough to set me going again – to start my draft all over. And when I did start, my initial draft came back to me differently but still the same message. “He will carry me … when I can’t go on on my own”.

Are you in an in-between place?

You are upheld by God from birth, carried from the womb
Even to your old age, God is God
Even to gray hairs, He will carry you
The One who has made you will bear you in all your ways
He will carry you and deliver you
He will bear you up in His arms.
Like a father carries his son, so He will carry you in and through your in-between place.

In less than 24 hours, the in-between place has become history! When God carries you… and when you know the hands which carry younothing else matters… He is more than enough. Upheld by the One in whom all things consist and hold together. No limits. You go on and on.

Celebrating Beautiful

5th July 2008 marks a new and beautiful beginning – that day we exchanged wedding vows and its even more beautiful today 5 years after…

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Today, we are grateful to God and rejoice at all we have become and are becoming even as we stand at the verge of yet another beautiful beginning that thrills my heart twice as much as it scares me.

With you, I have dared and am still ever willing to dare the future knowing and trusting that only “beautiful” lies ahead of us.

I. simply. love. you. loads!

Happy 5th Anniversary!

Always and for All things

I recently took up teaching in the children’s church and I must confess am better for it. Today, I had the opportunity of teaching a class of 20, all age 12 and below . Our memory verse was from Ephesians 5:20 ‘giving thanks always (all the time) for all things (everything) to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ…’

As I taught on this scripture, God opened my eyes through the minds of these children to see what being thankful is all about. At the end of the class, I challenged them to write down 15 things they were thankful to God about. At first the number 15 looked like much and they struggled with it but in the end (without any aid or support) they each came up with a list of  more than 20 inspiring things to be thankful to God for. I have reproduced some of it below:

1. Thank God for making me beautiful 
2. Thank God for favour 
3. Thank God for everyone in this class
4. Thank God for the stars and the sun that brightens up the sky 
5. Thank God for making me wise 
6. Thank God for my mouth ( I wonder why he thought that)
7. Thank God for making me say thank you
8. Thank God for Jesus
9.  Thank God for the ground that I walk on
10. Thank God for love 
11. Thank God for my family
12. Thank God for my mummy’s new job to come
13. Thank God for the project site
14. Thank God for joy

And the list goes on and on. More importantly, they were excited and full of joy as they went about creating their list. There is joy in giving thanks!

So I ask you, what are you thankful to God for today? Just think about it and see what happens to you and in you.

for when we wonder why…

Today as I sat in a bus heading home, I heard the lady who sat behind me lamenting ‘why did I leave the office so early only to come wait in this bus that’s taking forever to fill up?’ I myself had already experienced an hour so to speak ‘setback’ but I couldn’t help but turn around and say to her ‘if God were to show you why, you will fear!

Then my mind turned on this scripture:
Ex. 13:17 – 18. ‘Then it came to pass, when Pharaoh had let the people go, that God did not lead them by way of the land of the Philistines, although that was near; for God said, “Lest perhaps the people change their minds when they see war, and return to Egypt.” So God led the people around by way of the wilderness of the Red Sea…’

Surely, if God were to show us ‘why’ or answer our ‘whys’, our hearts will not be able to contain it. When we ask why, we often times question God’s strategy and plan for our lives; we question His love. God is awesome and God is a good God. I am confident in His words that He makes ALL things work together for my good because I am called according to His purpose. He is not a man. He is Love and His actions are motivated by love.

God is at work in me. He reigns in the affairs of my life. He is mindful of me. I mean even the very hairs of my head are all numbered. I am predestined. Nothing happens to me by chance. I am content knowing all these and that ALL things are collaborating together and orchestrated for my good. I don’t need to know why. I rest easy.

Do you still want to know why?

Here….

I love the 5minute friday challenge by Lisa-Jo Baker (www.lisajobaker.com). where the brave and beautiful spend 5 minutes writing without editing whatever comes out on the same topic! its another firday and the prompt is “Here”.

Not yesterday, its gone anyway.
Not tomorrow but one day at a time.
The time – my time, is here and now.
You cram my day with benefits;
You satisfy my mouth with good things;
I’m wanting for nothing.
Hemmed in your love, cherished and secured.
No fear, no doubt.
Here in your love. Nothing else matters.
Here – My present hour reality

Won’t you come join us?

Rest

its 5 minute friday! ..And am writing for 5 minutes flat @thegypsymama’s prompt: Rest

wont you come join us?

Rest. Since the very first working day of this week, I’ve woken up mistaking each subsequent day of the week for a friday. With an 8am – 6pm working hours job (and of course traffic), I barely get enough for my kids let alone myself. Thank God It’s Friday. Tomorrow, I rest! Rest has taken a new meaning. It means spending quality time with my two little girls 3+ and 2 without being mindful of how time flies. Lazying and doing only our favorite things all day. I recognize this can be tasking too but I look forward to it still. As I turned to leave for work this morning, I heard the younger one say ‘mummy don’t go’. My heart breaks but I turn to leave with a smile and a promise ‘I’ll go no where tomorrow’ and she knows I mean it. Rest means spending quality time with my girls.

Gone

I still see the white overalls with IV, syringes and medications.
Faces young and old baring bland expressions scurrying on hospital corridors.
You on your hospital bed, brave as ever unwilling to betray your emotions and the pain.
The diagnosis, the dismissal and then your decision – your choice to not stay!
I recall the trip to your birthplace without you.
The final closing – earth to earth…
And the return without you
The memorial service
Life without you to set things right and in order
Lost count of the number of times I reach to call and gist with you about today’s goings on…
Daddy, can’t believe you are really gone and life goes on.
I feel tears trickling down the corners of my eyes now,
And I realize, I’ve been way too strong, too strong to cry.
The kids ask after u “where is the grandpa in this room?’
I know you are at rest and at peace
But why didn’t you stay?
I miss you so

The Greatest Force

Stronger than the surge of the oceans,

He turned the sea into dry land, brought water from the rocks.

Greater than the forces of nature, even the forces of darkness,

A pillar of cloud by day and of fire by night

He lets loose the lightening from horizon to horizon,

The thunder echoes His voice, powerful and majestic,

He covers himself with light as with a garment,

He stretched out the heavens like a curtain,

He makes the clouds His chariots and walks on the wings of the winds,

He commandeers winds as messengers, appoints fire and flame as ambassadors,

The mountains melt as wax at His presence.

His mighty acts stagger our understanding!

Stop in your tracks.

Take in God’s miracle-wonders!

Any idea how He does it all?

And to think He lives inside of us!

In Him, we have become a force to be reckoned with-

For they that know their God shall be strong and carry out great exploits.

Oh the exceedings greatness of His power towards us who believe!

Mighty God!

Unsurpassable in power and justice!

The Lord of Hosts!

The Greatest Force!

Quiet

5minute friday is here again and i just love been here! the prompt is ‘quiet’! come join us and write for 5mins no editing and all that. i exceeded 5 minutes though!

I recall the not too fond memory of the time when my home got quiet. Often stressed out (full time working mum of 2 little girls – 1 preschooler, 1 toddler), I found myself wishing I could get away from home for a short while. I finally got what I wished for … but not exactly the way I wanted it. For some reasons which I still cannot fathom, my daughters had to stay far far away from me (or so it seemed) with their grandma for almost a whole month. I went to work grudgingly each day, feeling a great part of me missing (no diapers, no scattered toys, no shrieking laughter, no squealing, no “my mummy this, my mummy that”, no nothing) and returned home, to my embarrassment, feeling empty and to an empty home. The quiet was deafening! How can I be quiet with so many thoughts about them screaming in my head for attention?
He leads me beside still waters….When I gave up my sticky situation to God, I got my girls back! I realized more than ever that these ones and darling husband, they make my home. Without them, I am incomplete. Blessed is the man (and of course woman) that has his quiver full of them!